And this is why our child cannot gain any weight…
A boy and his giraffe
Posted in Bodie
Tagged cuteness uncensored, Giraffe, los alamos, Our little boy!, The New Mexican Jumping Bean
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Catching up
Hi. How are you? A friend emailed me and reminded me that I hadn’t posted in a while, so I thought I’d get back on here and play catch-up for those of you still checking the blog. The Bean turns 9 months in just a few days. NINE MONTHS. I saw a quote recently that said something to the effect of “the days are slow, the years are fast” and that’s how I feel. In some ways, I can’t believe nine months have passed already. On the other hand, sometimes I think – he’s only 9 months?!?!?! You mean, we still have all those years ahead of us?!?!?! And then I take a few deep breaths and remember that we chose this life.
Matt and I each had birthdays in April (the same day!) and we celebrated with a camping trip to Moab with some friends. Matt went mountain biking with his newish bike and I hung out at the campsite with the kiddo. It was super windy and there was dirt and dust blowing around everywhere, so we baby-proofed the back of the xterra and Bean and I stayed in there all day. Yes – ALL DAY. I jumped out a few times to brave the nastiness to grab something to eat and take care of business, but the kid and I were confined to a roughly 4×6 space for 8 hours. I’ll admit – when all the others rode off, I did not have a sweet spirit. I felt bitter, annoyed, frustrated – yeah, happy birthday to me! stuck in the car with the kid. no break, no spa treatment. not even a hike around the desert. just 8 hours alone with a slobbery poopy child in the back of a car. But then, something magical happened. I realized that it was a rare treat to hang out with him and observe him without thinking about all the other things I needed to be doing. At home, there are so many other distractions that I’m usually just trying to get the Bean to play by himself while I take care of laundry and dishes and all that other stuff that makes the household world go ’round. But THIS DAY – the only thing I had to do was watch my son. And, then, I became radically grateful for those hours. I ended up really enjoying myself as I just sat back and watched him explore the nooks and crannies of the X. {It really helped that Bean was in the best mood ever!} When Matt got back, Bean and I both had huge smiles on our faces and I can easily say that those hours with my baby boy were among the greatest birthday gifts I’ve received.
When we got back from Moab, I called our pediatrician and scheduled a visit because Bean had started to do this weird twitchy thing with his face and neck and we were starting to get a little worried. He had started them back in mid-late Feb, but they started to get more frequent and, right before we left Moab, he did it about 10-15x in less than 10 minutes and the “episodes” were starting to get longer. Still only a few seconds, but noticeably worse. Once, I was holding him and he did his thing and it lasted for, I dunno, maybe 8 seconds, but it felt much longer and my thought was, what if it doesn’t stop?!?! We were able to catch him on video a couple of times and showed the ped. He didn’t seem too too worried, but said we should see a neurologist just to be safe. So, Bean and I loaded up and went down to ABQ to the children’s hospital. Amazingly, we got in to see the neuro within 2 hrs of showing up and by 3:00 that afternoon, Bean had 21 nodules glued on his head for an EEG. Because they wanted to get him awake and asleep, and maximize the possibility he would do his thing, we ended up staying overnight. Hoo boy was that fun. Poor kid – 21 wires coming off his head, 4 more wires for the EEG coming from his chest, another 3 to monitor heart/breathing rates, and an oxygen clamp on his toe. Despite all these limiting factors, he was a champ!!! Still pulled himself up on the crib and seemed as happy as could be. Until I left his sight and then he FUHREAKED OUT. And we thought he had separation anxiety bad before the hospital stay… Ugh. My poor little guy 
Anyway, thank God we had the videos because, of course, he didn’t have an “episode” while he was hooked up and at least I didn’t just sound like a overprotective crazed mama bear making something up. And, THANK GOD, the EEG was 100% normal. The neuro said that if it was something really serious, the brainwaves would have showed abnormal patterns even without Bean doing his thing. The neuro said he believed the incidents were “myoclonic” spasms that would resolve in time. Apparently, we scared them out of the kid, though, because since leaving the hospital, he’s only done it once!
The day we left the hospital, my mama landed in ABQ for a weekend visit. We had a low-key weekend, just relaxing and playing with the Bean. I feel for my mom. Last time she came, *I* had just got out of the hospital, so, of course, Bean was a bit weirded out and much more clingy than usual. This time, HE had just got out of the hospital, so was a bit weirded out and much more clingy than usual, and it took him a while to warm up to his Grammy. Eventually, she got some smiles and giggles out of him, but yeesh. I hope the next time we see her, there’s no hospital involved and we can just enjoy time with her!!!
The rest of April has been pretty great. We explored some areas in the Sangre de Christo mountains, east of us, and found some excellent camping sites. We stayed overnight in one of them and, though we were only 2hours away and were back home in about 24hrs, it felt like we’d been gone several days. It was a much needed weekend trip and very restorative for how short it was. The Bean and I slept in the tent and it was ok. We need to get a bigger tent, fo’ sho’, and he needs to sleep better and longer, but all in all, it worked out fine. He loved hanging out in the tent and we surrounded him with bins at one point, which he thought was pretty funny.
We’ve also been exploring the maze of forest roads in the Jemez – the mountains just up behind us. Not ALL the forest has burned and there are still some really spectacular woods about an hour’s drive from our house. We scoped out some potential camp sites this last weekend and will be up there with friends in just a few days for another weekend outside. It’s been so nice to be getting out again. Especially for me and Matt, since camping was a big part of our relationship before the boat trip and having the Bean. It feels like “us” again, but now with a little monkey to take care of 
And he is a little monkey! This kid is so active, it’s insane. He first climbed up our stairs shortly after he learned to crawl (7mos) and now does it on a near daily basis, like it’s no big deal. He has two little walker toys that he steers all around the living room, making circuits around the couches and coffee table. He can crawl surprisingly fast and is now trying to climb over and onto things (like using an open drawer as a step stool). He’s getting better balance and can easily walk just holding onto *one* of our hands. A few times now, he’s let go of the coffee table or us and stood on his own. I hear that’s a first step (ha) towards walking.
I love how he’s growing and smiling and giggling. It’s so much fun to see his little personality really start to come through – except for the crying. There is still WAY too much crying going on around here for my liking. But, what can you do…
So, that’s what’s happening in our neck of the woods. I’ll try to update with a video one of these days
And just like that…
Our wee little Bean turned seven months this month, got two bottom teeth, started crawling and is pulling himself up on everything. He has been quite busy. He’s choked a couple of times, completely freaking us out, been tossed upside down and whacked on his back. The day after it happened the first time, I met up with my neighbor and watched the “infant CPR” course she had received from her uncle. Note to self and all those with upcoming baby showers to attend – THIS IS A GREAT GIFT FOR FIRST TIME PARENTS!!! (scroll down for the infant kit). The second time it happened, I felt more prepared, was much more calm and it wasn’t so traumatic (for me). The kiddo is crawling now, too, which we’d thought would make him happier… and it seems to, but only because now he can pull up on things other than the laundry basket. He only crawls as much as he has to until he can reach something he can use to stand up. He tried to use Baba the other day. Poor kitty. Yesterday, I was in the kitchen while he was playing with his little music table. Then it got too quiet. I turn around and the kid is standing at our entry table, drawer open, with an {unopened} glue stick in his mouth, happy as can be. He got his first bruise about two days ago. As I’m sure will be the norm for the next ten years, I’m not sure where it came from. It may have been from bumping his head against the leg of the coffee table, or it may have been from pressing his head against the slats of his crib as he was trying to pull himself up in bed. Ugh. Yes, he just started doing that and it is now the bane of our existence. Isn’t it too early for him to be doing that?!?!!? I thought for sure we had another couple of months. Yeesh. Now that he knows he can stand up, he REALLY doesn’t want to sleep anymore. As soon as I lay him back down, he pops over and stands back up. When I think about it, it makes me laugh at how stinking fast he is, but right now, when it’s his “nap time” and he is clinging to the top bar of the crib crying and stomping his feet and being completely unwilling to lay down even though he’s exhausted, it’s not quite so funny. I read a random quote the other day about potty training and it said something to the effect of, “Don’t worry, I promise your kid won’t go to college in diapers.” Ha ha. I’ve been trying to apply that to other things like, “Don’t worry, I promise your kid won’t go to college having eaten nothing but breastmilk,” or “Don’t worry, I promise your kid won’t go to college having never fallen asleep without a boob in his mouth,” (though I’m sure most guys would see nothing wrong with that). And it does kind of help keep things in perspective, but lord have mercy, college is a long ways away 
He’s become much more vocal and has finally started to giggle a little bit!!!! I love his little voice. In normal light, he still is very much a baby – and a tiny one at that. But, at night, when I’m cuddling him after nursing, the shadows fall across his face and suddenly he looks like a little boy. it is surreal to catch glimpses of the newborn that he was, the baby that he is and the toddler and preschooler he soon will be all in the same moment. I’m not being too sentimental about it, though. I am trying really hard to focus on each day and enjoy who he is NOW. And he is definitely getting much more fun. Still a serious dude, but there are a lot of smiles and sweet faces as he digs through the laundry basket {looking a bit like he’s dumpster diving!}, pulls himself to stand at the coffee table, runs around on his tiptoes, clenching Matt’s fingers, wrestling with his mama… The “it gets better” that so many people had been telling us about is finally here! (except for his sleeping – both daytime and nighttime, there is still significant room for improvement there
A non-Bean post :)
The most common question friends and family ask us these days, other than about the Bean, is “So, how is living in Los Alamos?” So I thought, in honor of the [slightly belated} anniversary of our landing in NM, I’d give a brief update on that end…
Life here is pretty good right now. Matt LOVES LOVES LOVES his job at the lab. He has taken over several projects and has already garnered a {well-deserved} reputation for being uber-organized. It’s no surprise to me that the bins have taken over his workspace. He has a great work schedule and is often able to come home at least half an hour before we put the kiddo to bed, and he gets a 3-day weekend every other week. We’ve yet to put those long weekends to really good use, but are excited to get out camping as often as we can this summer. He enjoys the people he works with and seems to be learning all sorts of new stuff, so he is quite happy indeed. He also just got an awesome deal on a used mountain bike, so he’s looking forward to riding the {remaining} trails around town in the coming months. The fire took its toll on most of the really nice trails through the mountains behind us, which is pretty depressing, but there are still some good rides through the canyons and hopefully some of the other trails will get cleared up. Regardless, Matt is ecstatic to have his own bike
I am still staying busy with stuff at home and hanging out with the kiddo. There are way too many “moms’” groups and kids activities to choose from and so I’m trying to let The Bean’s schedule determine where we go for now. I’ve been working really hard to get his morning naptime figured out. For a while there, we had a nice routine of giving him a morning bath, him taking a nap, then I would go to the gym after he woke up (the Y has a great daycare). Lately, it hasn’t always worked that way, so I’ve been going on long walks out on one of the nearby mesas while he sleeps in the stroller. I’ve walked 5+ miles a couple of times now! Our weather has been soooo nice, and it feels really good to be outside. Although part of me doesn’t feel like this winter ever got cold enough, the breath of warm air that blows through every once in a while has me really looking forward to spring. I’ve been writing a little bit, too. A few weeks ago, every night before bed I would have a few paragraphs or a new idea flash in my head. Nothing huge, but every little bit I can add to my stories is appreciated Matt has given me some lessons on photography, so I’ve been working on that a little bit, and the pinterest craft addict in me is itching to bring some new projects to life! I just bought fabric to sew some throw pillow covers; I have chalkboard paint and tiles to create badly-needed coasters; I just painted a picture frame a beautiful turquoise and now have to figure out what to put in it; and I ordered some photos of The Bean so we can finally put some family pics up. My writing group still meets at least once a month and it’s my turn to share in a few weeks so I need to edit some of those late-night thoughts… I’ve been hanging out with friends and making some new ones, though I really need to make those hang-out times a bit more regular. It’s great that there are so many people to get to know, but with The Bean’s unpredictability and the busyness of all our lives, it seems so hard to get together. I always thought that this difficulty in meeting up was more of a “big city” problem when we lived in the bay area, but now I wonder if it isn’t just an “adults with kids and responsibilities” problem 
One fun thing that’s come up is a bi-monthly movie night with our neighbors and our mutual good friends. The six of us have dinner together and then we rearrange our couches so we can watch a movie on our big screen. We have an 80′s theme going on right now and have watched “Top Gun” and “Ferris Bueller’s Day Off.” Next up is “Flashdance.” Thankfully, The Bean has slept through the films, even the soundtrack and loud jet engine noises of Top Gun! We all have a great time, laughing and enjoying the movies, and it feels very satisfying.
Los Alamos is a strange town, but I like it. I knew it was a bit odd before we moved here and Matt certainly did his best to warn me off before we decided to make the move. It is such an outlier in New Mexico. Incomes are significantly higher, but so is the cost of housing/living; health statistics are much better than the rest of the state, the same for education. People here are SMART and have lots of money to spend, but businesses are closing in town partially because the residents don’t spend their money here. We have one major grocery store in town, whose prices are said to be fairly higher than those in Santa Fe, and a small local co-op located in the far reaches of a parking lot, back behind a hotel. The town has one rinky dink sketchy dive bar, a restaurant with a teeny tiny bar area, and a hotel with an equally small set-up. But, there are 5 or 6 banks in town and at least 15 churches. Guess it makes it obvious where the residents’ priorities are! The younger people we’ve met (<45) all sound pretty frustrated with local politics. What we’ve heard from numerous sources is that the older generation has a firm grip on the city council and really doesn’t want to see the town change {too much}. An example: There’s a hilarious campaign going on right now to convince people of the benefits of traffic round-abouts because the city wants to replace the stoplights on the major avenues. When you watch a movie at the local theater, one of the ads that appears at the beginning details the wonders of these traffic circles. The thing that makes me laugh is that nearly all the scenes they show depict the roundabout in some big city – new york, london, etc. As though Los Alamos is an equally booming metropolis! Yes, the city does grow by a couple of thousand everyday as lab employees drive up from the valley… But, the ad’s suggestion that we need roundabouts to control traffic flow is laughable. It seems a metaphor for the larger picture – the City Council recognizes that the town is growing and changing, but they want to do what they can to impede that progress and slow things down as much as possible. There are other factors involved, too, that affect the town vibe, but I think if the younger crowd were honest, they’re just waiting for all the old fogies to die off so we can breathe fresh life into the town. I’m curious to see what that would look like and whether it will happen. So many have lost their enthusiasm for change because of the utter unwillingness of the town to consider it. And with the devastation to the mountains the fires have caused, I wonder if Los Alamos has missed its prime opportunity to shine…
There are a few local gems that are still alive and well – Ruby K’s, a yummy little bagel place; the Coffee House, an alternative to Starbucks; Pet Panagea,your super friendly neighborhood pet store – and there are still a handful of restaurants and stores I haven’t even been in. It boggles my mind, honestly, that we could live here for a year – here, where there are like 5 semi-nice dine-in restaurants – and I’ve only been to one of them! How can I complain about residents not supporting local businesses when I haven’t even been to them?!?! Somehow, we’ve gotten along fine with Papa Murphy’s pizza and the occasional bite to eat from the sushi, barbeque, and mexican food places. (I know – sushi in a podunk northern new mexico town? but it’s actually ok!) Needless to say, it is a FAR CRY from our life in San Francisco, that’s for sure.
The one thing that bothers me the most about living here is that we don’t have a “drugstore” type store. No RiteAid, no Walgreens, no CVS, no Target. Nearly everywhere else I’ve lived, I had at least one of these within a 5-10 minute drive. The closest one is in Espanola, a good 40 minutes away. Target is an hour, in Santa Fe. Some might not understand my problem with this… but what it comes down to is that you have to go the grocery store for every little thing. Forgot milk? Need a thing of butter? Need a toilet plunger? Need paper towels? There is no quick jaunt into Walgreens for a bottle of aspirin. All 18,000 residents have this one grocery store to go to. I just find it really annoying I should start lobbying for a CVS!
Other than the lack of entertainment/variety, Los Alamos is proving to be a good place to live. I feel very fortunate to have made as many friends as I have and to have been so quickly and easily accepted into the various mom groups. I really am glad for the timing of being pregnant and then having the kiddo this last year because I think it would have made things a little tougher had I not had the mom/child/family thing in my favor. I am SO thankful that Matt likes his job and thankful that he’s making enough money for me to stay at home and us to still be able to pay our bills on time. Living here is sort of like being in a weird little bubble compared to the rest of New Mexico, but I appreciate that it feels safe and clean and healthy, even though it means we’ll probably never be able to buy a house!
Overall, we’re very happy here and glad we made the move. We’re still getting settled in and getting to know the town, but I think we’ve come a long way in a year
Posted in Blessings, Life in Los Alamos
Tagged give thanks in all things, home, los alamos
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Mama Love
I feel like I’ve had a breakthrough this week. Every single day, I’ve experienced a moment with The Bean where I consciously think to myself, “I love this.”
I KNOW!
Recently, there’s been some talk in our house of me going back to work, trying to find even just a part-time job. It’s tricky because just to cover the cost of daycare/nanny three days a week, I’d have to make a certain salary and that might not be so easy to come by in our tiny little town where the lab is doing voluntary cuts and multiple businesses are closing. Anyway, we both had noticed that, for the longest time, I haven’t been that happy staying at home. Of course, I really haven’t been that happy about anything. Perhaps, we thought, having a job that allows me to contribute financially and interact with different people would help. And, maybe it would. I do sometimes think it would be nice to go back to work, largely for the money, but also because I’ve always enjoyed helping others. BUT…
I’m really starting to enjoy being a stay-at-home mom.
Even though The Bean is still not napping great during the day, we are beginning to settle into a bit of a routine and I think I’m finding my stride. The house still isn’t that cleaned up {by any stretch of the imagination} and there are two whole bins of clothes, toys, etc. that need to be put away in the nursery, and only one half of the bathroom counter has been wiped down in the last two weeks, and our weekly menu planning has kind of gone out the window, but I’m finally ok with all of it.
More than that, The Bean is so much fun. He is smiley and gurgly and coo-ey and looks right into my eyes with his intense little brown ones, begging to be played with, to be tickled, to be walked around, to be held, to be loved. And love on him I do!!! So many times this week, I’ve been rolling around with him or cuddling him to my chest or dancing around and I look at him, so happy, and I think – he wouldn’t get this anywhere else; he can’t get this anywhere else. This time with his mama. Now, I don’t think daycare is bad or that you’re a bad mom if you put your kid in daycare. Lord knows there have been many many days (or, like, five months worth) where I would have gladly dropped The Bean off at a center had it been an option. But, this week, it has really struck me that THIS is where I want to be, THIS is what I want to be doing. So many people tell you that being a mother is the most important job, blah blah blah. But when I have student loans that take 1/4 of my husband’s monthly paycheck and all I’m “making” is baby food and the occasional dinner, it’s really hard to feel that this “career” makes sense. In order for it to work, I really have to find value in staying at home with my kids in and of itself. And that can be really really hard. I think, personally, it’s not about saving money, it’s not about doing what other people think is the “right” thing, it’s not even necessarily about doing what you think is best for your kids. At least for me, it has to be something that *I* want to do and *I* feel is right for ME. A happy mom is a good mom, right? I don’t buy into the argument that it’s all that good to be miserable for your kids’ sake.
I feel very thankful that I am currently doing some {non-baby} work from home and I’m definitely open to other opportunities {hint!hint! send work my way!} But, I hope that this streak of Mama-love continues and I look forward to finding daily satisfaction in this everyday life with my little one.
Thank God for digital cameras!
I would go broke ordering prints.
Posted in Bodie, Photo shoots
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Like Father, Like Son
It’s really hard for me to tell who The Bean looks like more… Some days, I think he favors me, but other days, he seems to look so much like Matt. Here are a few pics where B’s features are remarkably similar to his dad’s
Posted in Blessings, Bodie, Family, Photo shoots, The Husband
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Abraham Lincoln turned out ok
Before becoming a parent, I was slightly aware of how judgmental other parents could be about certain parenting methods. Heck, not just even other parents! After all, pre-Bean, Matt and I did our fair share of saying, “We would never do THAT…” I don’t think I quite realized, though, just how MEAN people can be. Recently, some acquaintances implied that we were bad parents for letting our baby “cry it out” at night. There was even an article she posted on facebook about how we {parents who use the CIO method} are emotionally scarring our child for life and potentially causing him irreversible brain damage. We had gone to their home hoping for empathy and encouragement and came away feeling angry, judged, and more alone in our struggles.
Parenting is so freaking hard. As everyone says, children do not come with instruction manuals. Especially when they’re infants, it’s a constant guessing game as to what they need – teething gel for sore gums? diaper changed? sleep? cotton clothes because polyester itches? mom? dad? to sit up? to lay down? WHO KNOWS. And there are so many different “theories” out there as to what sort of attention causes a child to prosper. People swear by co-sleeping, but then older children prove nearly impossible to kick out of your bed. Some say constant baby-wearing is the key, but others say a child needs to be left alone so they can explore their world and learn to entertain themselves. Some people have tons of toys so that their little one is never bored and is constantly stimulated, others limit it to a few simple items saying overstimulation can cause ADHD. Some people insist that you allow children to be “children” for as long as possible, others take a Montessori approach that a child learn responsibility and self-control and should be given “tasks” at a young age. There is now a strong trend against circumcision and vaccines and some groups say that, in both cases, you are causing great injury to your baby. Cloth diapering clans claim they’re saving the environment, disposable users say there’s no difference. if you make your own baby food, you better be using organic and free-range everything otherwise you might as well be using that nasty Gerber stuff out of a jar. Oh, and another big one – stay at home moms vs the working parent… and the list goes on and on.
I know it’s about our kids, but why do people care SO MUCH about what other parents do?!?!?! Especially if it’s not affecting you or your child? If there’s a kid on the playground cursing and teaching my child bad words, sure, I will totally blame the parent for his bad influence. But if the parent is using cloth diapers and I’m not, or if one mom puts her baby in daycare for ten hours a day, what is that to me??? We are all trying to survive this parenting gig and do the best by our children, why can’t we all just get along?
I don’t think that Matt and I have any distinct parenting “style” or “approach.” Every once in a while, I manage to pull something together that makes sense, but the rest of the time it feels like we’re just winging it. It’s not a particularly comfortable feeling and I can see why some parents choose to jump on one bandwagon or the other because Lord knows it’s pretty nice when some book written by some “expert” is telling you what to do. Even better when it actually seems to work!!! I try to remember, though, that Abraham Lincoln and numerous other people turned out ok without Baby Einstein videos and a gazillion bath toys; without “Baby wise” and “The Sleep Lady” and monthly visits to the pediatrician. They turned out ok without “mommy and me” classes, classical music every morning, and tons of exposure to other kids for “social development.” I’m sure the Lincolns co-slept out of necessity and who knows if Baby Abe was ever left to cry it out, but I feel fairly certain that it wasn’t all fun and games for his mama and I can’t imagine that raising a family in rural Kentucky in the early 1800′s was a walk in the park. But – it’s safe to say, he turned out just fine. I do think there is something to watching other parents and trying to learn from what they do. If they constantly bribe their kids, go ahead and make a mental note to try and avoid that tactic. BUT – don’t do what we’ve done too often and judge the parent for their technique because, guaranteed, you have no idea what has led the parent to that point…
The latest psychology statements on parenting say that you just have to be “good enough,” which often still feels like too high of a standard I really wish that I could internalize this idea and daily remind myself that I’m good enough. WE are good enough. We were chosen to be the parents of this little boy and we will find ways to get through every stage of his life. I think hundreds of people have told me, “this too shall pass,” which is a phrase I kind of hate, but it’s true -
whateveritisthatisdifficulttodaywillpassandbereplacedbyanotherchallengingstagewhichwillalsopass
andeventuallyyouwilljustacceptthatitsallhardbutgoodandtheresnothingyoucandotomakethings
passanyfasterandsometimesyouwillbegladaboutthatandregretthatyoucantslowtimeAmen.
This is kind of a rambling post, but what I’m trying to say is that I wish parents could be more supportive of each other. Instead of saying, “Oh my gosh! You let your 6 month old watch TV!?!?!?!?!?!?” I wish we could say, “You got to eat lunch and read the news and have a few relaxing moments to yourself? That’s great!” Or that, instead of berating a parent for letting their child cry, just nod in empathy and say, “This parenting thing is rough, huh?” I know that I have been that woman who has looked at other moms in disgust and have been that one that secretly says, “Can you believe she does that?” but my perspective has changed, of course, and I am learning that what the world needs is not more moms who stand on a soapbox demanding everyone do things a certain way but moms who get off the soapbox and hold hands with the other moms in the crowd. Yes, I still have my own opinions about how I want to raise The Bean and Matt and I actively discuss techniques and theories and methods to try now and in the future. But I really want to make a concerted effort to not impose MY opinions on others nor look down on them for whatever they’re trying. My past experiences have taught me that it is easy to judge someone when you’ve never been in their shoes, but true wisdom is acknowledging that you CANNOT say with any real confidence that YOU would do things differently in their situation until you’re IN their situation. The one thing we can know for sure when it comes to parenting is that, most of the time, we really don’t know anything about anything. We are all trying to figure it out, figure our kids out, and do what we think is right, and sometimes we’re making that judgement call every five seconds. I hope that, going forward, I can be that mom who will stand by other moms and say, “it’s hard, but good” and focus on the things we all have in common, rather than those things we don’t. And, I know that The Bean will grow and prosper because of (and despite) our “best efforts” and I know that, no matter what we do, we are going to screw him up in some way There is grace in being a “good enough” parent and I think, as parents, we definitely need all the grace we can get!
“Sprout” not sprouting
Since I call him “Bean,” Bodie has acquired a multitude of associated nicknames – Chili Bean and Bean Sprout being the most common two. “Bean Sprout” of course gets shortened to just “Sprout.” The problem is that my Sprout is NOT sprouting.
I just took him to his 6 month appointment this week and the kiddo has not even doubled his birthweight yet. HE IS NOT EVEN THIRTEEN POUNDS!!!!!!!!! I don’t understand, in some ways, because I feed him on demand during the day and he takes what he wants and never seems like he’s starving. So, I feel like he must be getting enough. I think, though, that that’s the thing – he just gets enough. Our kid is so active and there are evenings where Matt is walking him around for ten, twenty minutes – Bean grasping Matt’s fingers as he takes his awkward little steps, grinning and squealing like crazy. Even when his little legs start to give out in fatique, Bean still tries to get up, not wanting to stop. So, apparently, THAT’S where all his calories are going. *sigh*
The doctor doesn’t seem concerned. Says Bean is probably just going to be a late bloomer. But, I still worry. We’ve started giving him some solid foods and, at first, Bean seemed to really enjoy them. Recently, though, it’s been a trial to get him to take more than a few bites. And when a whole jar’s worth of sweet potatoes is only 70 calories, well… his feeding adds about 10 to his diet. My fear, of course, is that he won’t gain weight. He’s only gained TWO OUNCES in the last month, and maybe 5oz in the last two months. I’m not freaking out or anything, because he’s a champ in so many other ways and seems to be doing great developmentally, but I can’t help but wonder when he’ll start packing on the pounds. I would gladly give him some of mine
Anyway – I welcome any suggestions/encouragement on his growth. Right now, his head puts him in the 65th percentile but on height/weight he is in the POINT FIVE – yes, that’s HALF A PERCENT. Barely on the charts. I know he could just be a little guy and a late bloomer, but if you have any magic secrets to getting the kid to eat more, let me know I’ve always been glad that he was a bit on the smaller side, but this is getting ridiculous!!